What exactly does a man mean when he tells his partner “he needs space”? A man who feels suffocated by a relationship that is becoming too serious for him may ask for space. Someone who is not sure where you fit into his life may tell you he needs that space. A boyfriend who feels like you’re being too much like his mother may tell you to back off because he needs that space.

There are instances however that a man would ask for space because he wants to spend more time on knowing himself better. He probably needs to do some soul searching so that he’ll come out of the experience a wiser person, someone who knows what he really wants in life. He may also need the time to determine if you are the person he would want to share his life with for good.

Whatever his reason may be, respect his request, even though how painful and confusing it may be for you. Look at it this way – giving him space may be the best thing you can do for him and your relationship. A time off from each other may just be what you both need to look at your relationship more objectively and see if it is destined to last or doomed from the start.

Giving him space means ignoring your constant desire to call him or send him text and email messages. It also means not showing up at his place at odd hours of the night like you used to.  It is only normal to think of ways on how to get your ex boyfriend back when you’re missing him a lot and feeling miserable without him. But the worst thing you can do is to make yourself too available for him, even when he already told you to stay away.

If you appear desperate, he may not even want to keep his friendship with you and totally ban you from his life. Either that or he may just take advantage of your being there and not really feel any commitment towards you. He may just use you while you’re there and throw you away again like a used rag when he feels you’re getting into his space again.

You don’t really want any of those from happening. You need to know how to get your ex boyfriend back in a way that you would still retain some self-respect in the process.

So go ahead and accept the breakup. Let him have his space, in other words, stay away and let him miss you.  In the meantime, plan your strategy on how to get your boyfriend back, that is, if you think you stand a good chance of reviving the relationship after the breakup.

Let your common friends know that you’re ok and that you are moving on with your life. Once he hears about you from your friends, he will wonder if he was really that easy to forget or if he was mistaken into thinking that you will be miserable without him.

It may just be a facade but it may be the best way on how to get your ex boyfriend back. Keep acting like everything’s ok and before you know it, things will turn out ok in the end. Remember, when you project a happy image, you are in turn inviting happiness back into your life.

You’ve tried begging, had swallowed your pride and apologized a hundred times. You’ve even gone as far as stalk him just to find out if he’s back in the dating scene already. Of course none of these will work! You’ll never even be close to win ex back with the techniques you’re using? Why? Because they just make you look desperate, selfish and maybe downright crazy to your ex.

The ones who succeeded to win ex back will tell you that a woman who looks too desperate raises some red flags in a man’s mind. What you would be better off doing is to use some unexpected strategies to win ex back.

1.    So if you keep showing up in the bar where he hangs around with his friends, that really shows him that you’re not cool about the breakup and he will either feel guilty or pity for you. Worse, he may feel stronger and more negative emotions like disgust and anger, every time you try and connect with him, either by being in places he frequents, by calling him or sending him text messages.

If you accidentally bump into him in a bar, just say hello to him, but do not even go to his table and ask to be invited for drinks. Not only will you make him and his friends uncomfortable, he may even be worried that you’ll embarrass him in front of his friends (or date).  Instead, you can offer to just leave the room so that it will no longer be awkward for everyone.

2.    If you ever feel the desire to talk to him on the phone, you can do that maybe about a week or two after the breakup. Make it brief though and try not to be emotional about it. Let him know you’re thinking about him and that you’re ready to look at him in a different light – as a good friend.

Keep your cool and you’ll leave him wondering if you really are moving on, or if there’s a new man in your life.

3.    You can also send him a casual hello by email. Don’t overdo it, though, just enough to get him curious on what’s happening in your life lately, now that he’s no longer in it.

He’ll be intrigued every time he sees you or hears from you.  He’ll soon remember how good the times you spent together were. He’ll start wondering if you really are good even without him.  For all you know, he might start to feel miserable thinking you are handling the separation quite well.

Give it a few more time and you’ll easily win your ex back.

If the cause of the separation was infidelity, the one who had been unfaithful would have to work harder on regaining  trust.  The aggrieved party, on the other hand can help improve the relationship by not being too suspicious all the time, not expecting the worst to happen.

A couple who is determined to make the relationship work for the second time should openly discuss their anxieties with each other.  They should not bring up what happened in the past all the time to constantly blame the other person.  What matters more is to develop a relationship that will provide mutual happiness for each other.  If there is constant blaming or if the level of trust is not improved, the relationship will always be threatened and may not  survive a second chance.

Remember that relationships only prosper if genuine love and appreciation for each other is communicated always.  If what caused the breakup in the first place was failure to communicate, then the couple would have to either consult a counselor or openly discuss with each other how they can improve their communication skills.

There would be instances also when your family or friends may not agree with your decision to get back with your ex.   The decision to get back with your ex should be yours to make, not somebody else’s. If you feel in your heart that you had found a soul mate with your partner, then pay no attention to other people who predict the demise of your relationship and do not wish the best for you.  However, if the reason why your family and friends disagree with your decision is because you are in an abusive relationship, it will be best to listen to them, and do not put yourself back in a situation which may threaten your life.

It is often said that “love is lovelier the second time around”, but the truth of the matter is, it also involves more hard work to make a “second chance at love” succeed. It is not easy to start on an empty slate, because there has been pain, guilt, disillusionment that led to the breakup in the first place.   Sometimes, these negative memories can cause the relationship to be fragile again.  The partners involved would have to consider what made the relationship fail the first time and just to make sure that these threats are neutralized the second time around.

There have been many stories of successes of second chance relationships.  The secret of achieving success in the relationship really lies on the couple’s commitment to each other, to avoid the mistakes in the past, to learn from them and to continue to nourish their relationship with love.

Find more tips on how to make your ex come back here.

Oftentimes, when asked what causes their dissatisfaction with their marriage, women are quick to say that “my husband just doesn’t understand my needs”. Even after many years of marriage, it is not strange to hear women say that their husbands are totally clueless with what can really make them happy.

Sometimes, men would feel that their wives have unrealistic demands and they just find it so exhausting to constantly be trying to please their wives. The role of husbands today has become more complicated than it was maybe 20 or 30 years ago – the husband doesn’t just have to be a good provider, he has to be there for soccer games, for parent conferences; he has to be the ultimate sexual partner for his wife and the ideal leader of the clan.

It is not surprising then that men end up disappointed with themselves also for failing to meet their wives’ expectations, which sometimes are just too much for them to handle. Many men, faced with criticisms from their wives, would react the opposite way. They would just stop trying to fulfill their wives’ demands and even accept it as a reality that women are born to complain, and it is just best to ignore them.

When this happens in a marriage, when the husband would often ignore what his wife is trying to tell him, the wife would start feeling that her husband is neglecting her. She would start to feel that her husband is not sensitive to her needs and the communication starts to break down.

Statistics show that there are fewer women who would leave their husbands because of sexual or physical abuse. On the contrary, many women in abusive relationships would not even think of leaving, because they feel even more threatened once they leave.  Most women would leave because they perceive that they are being neglected by their husbands – either their expectations are not met, or their husbands are never there for them.

So where is the common ground here? Is divorce the answer, when the relationship fails to deliver, so to speak?

There should be a point of compromise, where both husband and wife can set their expectations from each other straight and work towards fulfilling these together. It may take years before that level of satisfaction in a relationship is reached, but it is not totally impossible.

Frustrations and disappointments are normal everyday happenings in a marriage. With a strong love and appreciation for each other, a couple can find ways to communicate and resolve conflicts in a way that will not threaten the relationship.

Don’t wait for divorce to happen. Work with your wife to bring back the love in your marriage.

]]> http://www.makeyourexcomeback.com/blog/relationship-help/the-most-common-reason-why-women-leave/feed/ 0 http://www.makeyourexcomeback.com/blog/relationship-help/top-5-reasons-why-men-leave-relationships/ http://www.makeyourexcomeback.com/blog/relationship-help/top-5-reasons-why-men-leave-relationships/#comments Sat, 08 Aug 2009 17:17:28 +0000 Brian Hendrick http://www.makeyourexcomeback.com/blog/?p=117 Is there a secret formula to make a man stay in a relationship? The truth of the matter is there is no fixed 1-2-3 guide that a woman can follow to make sure that her partner will stay with her the rest of her life. Men and women are not just biologically different from each other. They also have different mindsets and different ways of looking at and dealing with their relationships.

Because we live in a world where there are so many personality variations, it is very difficult to get the right combination that will work. The right partnership between a man and a woman should be something that provides each partner optimum happiness, where one can not be complete without the other. However, more often than not, this sense of happiness becomes an illusive dream. We see too many people ending up disillusioned with their relationships or constantly struggling to make them work.

An interesting study shows that men leave relationships more often than women do. This is somewhat related to another study that says about 60% of men will at one point or another cheat on their girlfriends or wives.

So what are the most common reasons men leave the women they vowed to love? Here are just a few:

1. She’s constantly trying to change me.

When a relationship is just starting, it is easy not to see each other’s imperfections. However, after the honeymoon phase is over, a woman may start thinking, “I’d be much happier if only he’ll be more….”  It is quite common for some women to “fix” their men to fit their idea of perfection. Is this impossible to achieve? I don’t think so! I’ve seen many men who would give up a vice or something that irritates their women, and also other men who had completely been “reformed” from their bachelor days. The secret there is to make your man understand that the change will benefit his life. If you use threats or emotional blackmail so that your guy will change as you demand, you are only giving him a good reason to leave.

2. She takes up too much of my time, always wanting me to be there for her.

At the start of a relationship, it may be flattering to a man’s ego to know that he is your “hero” who would cater to your every whim and need. However, your man may get exhausted with your constant whining for attention that he’ll feel your emotional dependency on him is crippling the relationship.

Unknowingly, you may be driving your man away when you declare that your happiness is his and only his responsibility. Your partner will sooner or later realize that the relationship is one sided, and he’ll grow tired trying to constantly please you.

3. She’s always putting me down.

Put yourself in his shoes. You wouldn’t want to be frequently reminded that you fall short of somebody else’s expectations, would you? You may just be focusing on his negative sides that you no longer see the good side of him that you fell in love with in the first place.

Remember that it is human nature to want to be in an environment of love and appreciation. If your man only hears you talking about what’s wrong with him, then don’t be surprised to see him “retreat to himself” or worse, to simply leave one day.

4. She’s become boring.

Too often men fall into the lure of other women because their girlfriends or their wives had become somewhat too familiar to them. The thrill of the chase is gone; there is nothing new and exciting in the relationship anymore. That’s why it’s always important to keep improving yourself and making yourself interesting to your man. It also means finding ways to share fun, laughter and adventure.

5. She’s freaking me out.

There can be so many versions to this, but what’s common, I believe, is when your man just feels too suffocated to continue with the relationship. If he can not find a good reason to stay, then he won’t stay.

If he doesn’t see the relationship adding any value to his life, he will not see it as something he needs or “can’t live without”.

What would help to make your man stay is to keep the communication open and assess whether you both are doing your best to keep the relationship happy.

Don’t deny the possibility, though that your man left or is about to leave because of one simple reason – he is just that not into you in the first place! If that’s the case, then you can either work on making him fall in love with you first or start the process of letting him go.

She feels self pity, disgust, and hatred for the man she vowed to share her life with. How could this happen? She was caught so totally unprepared. She had given him the best years of her life, twenty years, and all had gone down the drain in a split second – at that moment when he welcomed another woman in his life.

Cindy is just one of the sad statistics that’s part of today’s reality. A relationship that is at risk is one of the most difficult challenges a woman can face. Unfortunately, relationships are threatened too often.

At mid life, Cindy may be feeling that it’s too late for her to start life all over. She has the option of accepting defeat and filing for divorce. On the other hand, she can also try her best to win her husband back. It will be a long struggle and she has to arm herself with enough strength to face whatever the outcome of her efforts maybe.

If you are in the same predicament as Cindy is, here are 4 simple tactics that may lead you to get your husband back.

1. Stop the blame. Face the fact that when a marriage goes down the drain, it is not just one partner’s fault. It’s possible that you had let yourself go and lost the luster he fell in love with in the first place. More often than not, husbands have affairs with women who are younger versions of their wives. Realize that you may also be at fault – either you had neglected him or yourself.

2. Appreciate the love he had given you and your family. Oftentimes a man finds comfort in another woman’s arms because he does not get enough appreciation at home. Another woman can easily fill that emotional void he may be feeling, which could have been avoided if you had been appreciative of his love in the first place.

3. Let him know you’re interested to give it another try. Remind him in subtle ways of the happier times you had. It may make him remember the love you once shared with each other.

4. Work on regaining your self esteem. You can never go wrong if you concentrate on improving yourself, rather than wallowing in self pity. If he decides your marriage is dead, then a renewed self esteem is your best armor to go through life on your own, if necessary.

You should consider your marriage as one of your biggest investments in life; after all you had invested your emotions and time on it. You should then protect it with your life and make sure that it will grow through the years and enrich both your life and your spouse’s.

If you feel you have a good chance of winning your husband back, then work on it. Make yourself attractive and desirable again, appreciate him again for what he is and stop blaming him or yourself. Let him know that you want him back and once he feels loved and needed again, you’ll stand a better chance of winning him back.

Mistake No. 1 – Don’t ever try and make your girl jealous. Jealousy should never be used to measure how much she loves you. If you intentionally flirt with other girls just to see her furious, then don’t be surprised when she does get hysterical and starts throwing things at you. Think how you would feel if she retaliates and does the same thing. Making her jealous is not only an immature thing to do; it also creates distrust and can ruin the relationship.

Mistake No. 2 – Never use any form of abuse (verbal, mental or physical) on her. If you are in an abusive relationship, where you are the abuser, seek professional help. You will never find harmony in this kind of relationship, and sooner or later your girlfriend will realize that it’s not healthy for her to stay on.

Mistake No. 3 – Don’t keep bringing up your ex. A casual mention of your ex from time to time maybe alright, but if you keep reminiscing about your ex, you’ll just end up hurting your present girlfriend and don’t be surprised if she calls it quits. Obviously, you’re just on the rebound and still pining for your ex, if you keep bringing her up. Analyze your feelings, and if you do feel strongly for your present girlfriend, break the habit of thinking and talking about your ex.

Mistake No. 4 – Do not be too possessive or obsessive about your relationship. Like most men, women also do not want to be in a controlling relationship. If there is not much room to breathe and to grow in your relationship, chances are your girlfriend will not be happy and will get tired of you easily.

Women are not that complicated, if you understand that it’s unconditional love that they usually look for. Most women would stay in a relationship that nurtures their spirit and allows them to develop as an individual.

Love your woman, don’t try and live her life for her. But instead, find ways to love, understand and support her.

If you’ve done any of the mistakes above, find ways to win her back at Get Your Ex Back.

Some people are happy to have their relationships end because they can be free now to pursue other people. Other people are sad because they were making long term plans with the person they were with and got a monkey wrench thrown into it. There are several factors involved that’ll help you determine how long it might take to move on after a breakup though.

The most important thing you have to consider is the length of the relationship. If you had a relationship that lasted for years then it may take you years possibly to get over it. Some people will move on sooner, but if the feelings were genuine then you can’t get rid of those feelings overnight. If the relationship ended really badly you may not be able to move on until you get some kind of closure from the other person. If your relationship was just one long drawn out date then you’ll be able to move on much faster because your emotions were not as invested.

Sometimes getting over a breakup requires you to slowly accept the reality that it’s over. This reality may come to you slowly at first, but once you accept it you can begin the moving on process. Take it slow; do not be in a hurry to get over your ex. You did enjoy a lot of good times with the person and those good memories are something most people will cherish. Of course some may argue that the best way to get over these memories is to create new memories with other people. But you don’t want to use someone else as a crutch to getting over someone else. This would be unfair to the new person you get involved with.

The best way to know how long it is going to take you to get over a breakup is for you to go back on the dating scene and see if anyone else captures your eye. If you can see yourself being with someone else, then this is a good sign that you’re ready to move on.

The final step will be you officially getting involved with another man and putting the past behind you. But make sure you’ve completely moved on from your other relationship otherwise you won’t be giving the other person your full attention and this can sabotage your future relationship.

How long can it take you to get over your relationship? It can take a few days, it can take a few months or it can take a few years. If your feelings were strong for the other person then a long grace period is going to be needed in order for you to move past those feelings. It’s possible though that you may never move past the feelings you used to , but what you can do is give the next person that comes into your life all of you and not just the part that’s left after a bad break up.

Recovering from a bad breakup is never easy.  Another option is to try and work on getting your ex back if  you believe your relationship stands another chance.