The fact is damage has been done. Some of your friends will tell you you’re better off without him, and some would probably say he’s worth another try. But the truth is only you can decide if you do want to get your ex back in your life or if you are ready to move on.

If you choose to get your ex back, here are some tips on how you can make it an easier and faster process:

1.    Skip the drama and act as if everything’s cool. If you ever bump into him accidentally, just say hello and don’t suddenly cry in front of him, asking for another chance. If you play it cool, you don’t come out too desperate, which may actually turn him off.  Instead, give out signs that you’re handling the breakup pretty well.  That may start him wondering if he is really someone who’s easy to get over with.

2.    Find time to pamper yourself. Yes, instead of wallowing in self pity, do something positive like getting a new haircut or going for a massage. Get out and have fun with friends. If you prefer to do things on your own and would rather enjoy periods of solitude, do it outdoors rather than be cooped up inside your room all day.  Go to the museum or the library. Go to the park and take along your favorite book. Watch a play or go window shopping all afternoon. Do anything that will get you out of the house. If you do not try and get out, you may end up lonely and depressed and may always feel the temptation to call him or send him text messages even in the middle of the night.

3.    After some period of introspection and you are really sure that you’re ready to get your ex back into your life, you can call him briefly or send him a text message and ask to meet him for coffee.  You should then give the impression that you are ready to see him as a friend and that you are starting to enjoy your newfound independence.

That will really get him thinking how come you don’t seem to miss him as much as he missed you.  It’s the best piece of advice if you really want to get your ex back in your life – work on your self image, don’t appear desperate for his love again and act like everything’s cool.

You’ll find out that sooner or later, he can’t resist hooking up with you again – most guys can’t accept the fact that they are just that easy to forget!

Sooner or later, you would have to face the bitter truth that you had lost the one you love. With acceptance comes understanding, which leads to gaining the strength back to either move on or to continue fighting for the one you love.

How would you know if it is the right time to let go of this relationship or to keep on holding on to it and trying to get your ex back? In spite of the many advices that you would probably hear from your family or friends, you alone can determine if your relationship stands the chance of being revived.

Understand what caused the breakup in the first place. Consider if the cause of the breakup are just petty disagreements or major arguments that can undermine harmony in the relationship in the long run. Analyze also if the cause of these arguments are personality disorders, such as if one (or both of you) had been controlling or abusive. If these issues are not addressed properly during the early years of the relationship, chances are, they will remain issues even as the relationship progresses.

Once you’ve pinpointed the cause of your breakup, ask yourself if you are willing to work towards resolution of these issues either thru a compromise or by going through counseling with your partner. If your partner is uncooperative, that may be a clear sign that he is not as intent on keeping the relationship as you are.

Should you work on getting your ex back? Only if your heart tells you that it is worth the try. You should also see signs coming from him that he welcomes the idea of giving it another try. Otherwise, if you see that the effort of reviving the relationship is merely coming from you, getting your ex back may take more than love, but also patience to try everything possible to get him back.

A good time off from one another may allow you both to analyze the relationship with a more objective point of view. So, make the most of the time of the breakup and stay away from thoughts of self pity. Instead, analyze where you had gone wrong and on what areas you could improve yourself. Ask yourself if this is really the person you would like to end up with and if this person is really worth your love.

If you are convinced that it is worth the try, make yourself the woman he fell in love with before. Be his best friend, and make yourself indispensable in his life. Give him some space and when he realizes how much he misses you, he may find his own way back to your heart.

Don’t head back to your ex without a plan! Find creative ways to win your ex back by clicking here.

If the cause of the separation was infidelity, the one who had been unfaithful would have to work harder on regaining  trust.  The aggrieved party, on the other hand can help improve the relationship by not being too suspicious all the time, not expecting the worst to happen.

A couple who is determined to make the relationship work for the second time should openly discuss their anxieties with each other.  They should not bring up what happened in the past all the time to constantly blame the other person.  What matters more is to develop a relationship that will provide mutual happiness for each other.  If there is constant blaming or if the level of trust is not improved, the relationship will always be threatened and may not  survive a second chance.

Remember that relationships only prosper if genuine love and appreciation for each other is communicated always.  If what caused the breakup in the first place was failure to communicate, then the couple would have to either consult a counselor or openly discuss with each other how they can improve their communication skills.

There would be instances also when your family or friends may not agree with your decision to get back with your ex.   The decision to get back with your ex should be yours to make, not somebody else’s. If you feel in your heart that you had found a soul mate with your partner, then pay no attention to other people who predict the demise of your relationship and do not wish the best for you.  However, if the reason why your family and friends disagree with your decision is because you are in an abusive relationship, it will be best to listen to them, and do not put yourself back in a situation which may threaten your life.

It is often said that “love is lovelier the second time around”, but the truth of the matter is, it also involves more hard work to make a “second chance at love” succeed. It is not easy to start on an empty slate, because there has been pain, guilt, disillusionment that led to the breakup in the first place.   Sometimes, these negative memories can cause the relationship to be fragile again.  The partners involved would have to consider what made the relationship fail the first time and just to make sure that these threats are neutralized the second time around.

There have been many stories of successes of second chance relationships.  The secret of achieving success in the relationship really lies on the couple’s commitment to each other, to avoid the mistakes in the past, to learn from them and to continue to nourish their relationship with love.

Find more tips on how to make your ex come back here.

Here are a few tell tale signs that your ex is ready to take you back:

1. She has not been seeing anyone else since you separated. Most women take longer than men to get into another relationship after the break up, especially if the relationship lasted for years. It is more common for women to have strong emotional binds to a relationship, which makes it more difficult for them to move on and start a new love affair right away. Your ex maybe dating other guys, but she maybe giving you signals that there is no one she’s going out seriously with. She is maybe telling you subtly that she’s waiting for you to ask her out again.

2. She returns your emails, text messages and phone calls, no matter how trivial they maybe. It may be a short joke you sent to her by email, to which she replies with a simple, “that made my day!” Try and read between the short emails or text messages she sends you. She maybe wanting to reestablish a connection, but doesn’t want to come out too forward or too imposing on you.

3. She maintains communication with your family and friends and frequently asks them about you. That maybe her way of reminding herself of the good times she used to share with you. Your common friends are the best sources you could ask if she has been curious about you since the breakup. She could be looking for signs that you’re as miserable as she has been since the separation.

4. She has kept the love tokens you gave her. Small items like pictures, pieces of jewelry, tickets for movies you both enjoyed, etc. all tell their stories of happy times shared between the two of you. If she has chosen to keep them, then that simply shows you still mean something to her, and although your relationship has taken a sour note, it may still have some hopes of revival.

5. She makes the first move to reestablish communication. She may suddenly call you and ask you to join her for coffee, as “she just happens to be in the neighborhood”. For all you know, she must have planned this meeting, so by all means, go and find out what she has to say!

Women sometimes have a hard time coming straightforward that they would want to give the relationship another try, especially if the separation has been painful and bitter. They sometimes think that it echoes desperation if they try and make the first move for reconciliation.

If you feel in your heart that you would want to make it easy for you and your ex to get back together again, read the signs she’s sending out. These signs maybe her way of saying that she wants you back, too.

Remember though that reading the signs can sometimes be deceptive, as we sometimes see only what we want to see. What is more important is to keep the communication open so that you get validation and not just pure assumptions of how your ex feels.

Mistake No. 1 – Don’t ever try and make your girl jealous. Jealousy should never be used to measure how much she loves you. If you intentionally flirt with other girls just to see her furious, then don’t be surprised when she does get hysterical and starts throwing things at you. Think how you would feel if she retaliates and does the same thing. Making her jealous is not only an immature thing to do; it also creates distrust and can ruin the relationship.

Mistake No. 2 – Never use any form of abuse (verbal, mental or physical) on her. If you are in an abusive relationship, where you are the abuser, seek professional help. You will never find harmony in this kind of relationship, and sooner or later your girlfriend will realize that it’s not healthy for her to stay on.

Mistake No. 3 – Don’t keep bringing up your ex. A casual mention of your ex from time to time maybe alright, but if you keep reminiscing about your ex, you’ll just end up hurting your present girlfriend and don’t be surprised if she calls it quits. Obviously, you’re just on the rebound and still pining for your ex, if you keep bringing her up. Analyze your feelings, and if you do feel strongly for your present girlfriend, break the habit of thinking and talking about your ex.

Mistake No. 4 – Do not be too possessive or obsessive about your relationship. Like most men, women also do not want to be in a controlling relationship. If there is not much room to breathe and to grow in your relationship, chances are your girlfriend will not be happy and will get tired of you easily.

Women are not that complicated, if you understand that it’s unconditional love that they usually look for. Most women would stay in a relationship that nurtures their spirit and allows them to develop as an individual.

Love your woman, don’t try and live her life for her. But instead, find ways to love, understand and support her.

If you’ve done any of the mistakes above, find ways to win her back at Get Your Ex Back.