Make Your Ex Come Back!

How do you deal with an ex who was once unfaithful to you but is now trying to win you back? Should you open your heart again and welcome him back?

Although statistical results vary, generally speaking, men get involved in extra marital affairs than women. One study said that about 60% of men and 40% of women would have at least one affair during their marriage or a committed relationship. Infidelity ranks as one of the top reasons why relationships fail. It is considered by many as the most painful experience a person can go through in a relationship.

If your partner has been unfaithful to you but is now remorseful and has asked for your forgiveness, what do you do next? Below are some questions to help you decide whether you will get back with your ex or not:

1. Are you prepared to forgive your partner for being unfaithful? This is probably the hardest question to answer, because the pain that comes with the discovery of the affair can cloud your thinking. It may make you think that the act is unforgivable. On the other hand, it may also make you think that it was your fault why the affair happened, and your partner deserves to be forgiven.

2. Are you willing to work towards making your relationship more successful? Maintaining a relationship requires hard work and dedication. When an affair happens, it is usually because there are other things wrong in the relationship already. Perhaps the level of intimacy with your partner has decreased through the years, perhaps your partner has felt let down or neglected in your relationship.

3. Are you ready to forget the past and work on a better future with your partner? Some would usually say that forgiving is easy, but forgetting is not. Ask yourself if you can find it in your heart to forget the past and look forward to a more loving relationship with your partner.

If you answered yes to all the questions above, then your heart and your mind are ready to welcome your ex back. It will take a lot of work – reviving passion and excitement, improving communication, expressing dedication to making the relationship work. Let your partner convince you that a reconciliation is worth it.

Although infidelity is prevalent, it does not necessarily have to result to a break up or a divorce. If the partners are willing to preserve and improve the relationship, then they may deserve a second chance.

Running your husband away is nothing new for a lot of women. They run their husbands away all the time, usually because they’re trying to be too controlling or are tying to force the man into a position he doesn’t want to be in. Believe it or not most men would love to be married. The thought of having a mate at home who is faithful, loyal, and dedicated to them and only them is something that any man can respect. The problem comes when the man and the woman aren’t on the same page.

If you’re a woman constantly worried that your husband will one day leave, here are some no nonsense tips to make sure this doesn’t happen.

Stop doing things that irritate him

You probably do things that irritate the hell out of your husband and not even being aware that you’re doing it. It is not your fault though; you probably grew up around a bunch of women who encouraged you to act this way. Acting like a drill sergeant is not attractive; asking your husband to help you clean the house or take care of the kids minutes before the super bowl doesn’t help either; making your man ask permission to spend his money on a toy for himself while you spend freely is also very irritating.

Give him a little freedom

You have to give your husband a little freedom if you want him to stay in the relationship. You can get started by letting him hang out at sports bars with his buddies without accusing him of secretly seeing some other women behind your back. You can let him go to sporting events without you if you don’t enjoy sports. A lot of women try to make their man go everywhere with them even if they don’t enjoy it. If he just wants to get away for a while without you then you shouldn’t have a problem with it. As much as he may love you sometimes absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Don’t control him with sex

Some married women have this bad habit of trying to use sex to control their husbands. This is a bad thing to do in a relationship where sex is supposed to be mutually desired by both partners. If you want to divorce proof your marriage, don’t use sex as a tool to manipulate your husband. Don’t offer it as a reward for a good deed, only to withdraw if he doesn’t do what you want him to do. Your husband will just see through your tactics, and you’ll end up being enemies than lovers.

There really is no room for manipulation in a sincere, loving relationship. Learn to love your husband unconditionally and make him realize that he deserves this love. Divorce is out of the question if the relationship is happy, loving and fulfilling.

When you signed that marriage contract, it was supposed to be binding for life. But marriage isn’t always about sunny days and blissful nights. There will be times when the relationship will be tested and depending on how strong its foundation is, it may or may not survive the rough and tough tumbles of everyday life.

What are the signs that your marriage is leading to or is already a disaster? These 5 signs may help you assess if your marriage is at risk:

1. You no longer look forward to times alone with your spouse like you used to. During the early stages of your relationship, everything seemed to revolve around your private moments with each other. If you now find spending time alone with your spouse a chore than a choice, you may need to assess the intimacy level of your relationship.

2. You and your spouse seem to be fighting over trivial matters. Oftentimes, it’s not the argument on who takes the trash out that is really the issue, but the feeling of being neglected or the feeling of not being loved enough. Usually, if these feelings are unresolved, you may find yourself picking up a fight over the smallest things.

3. You don’t confide to each other anymore. Communication is important in nurturing the closeness that you used to have with your spouse. If you’re the last person your spouse will confide to, then the level of trust must be dwindling in your relationship.

4. You and your spouse engages in constantly putting down each other in public. Too often, more deep seated problems, like lack of intimacy or feelings of inadequacy manifest in expressions of negative criticisms.

5. You or your spouse is having an affair. Affairs don’t happen overnight. They are symptoms of more serious problems in the marriage. There are other factors that precipitate the desire to have an affair, but usually it’s lack of meaningful interaction with each other that fuels it.

What can you do?

What is the secret of a long lasting marriage? So many self help books had been written about keeping the marriage alive, making it work, etc. There are thousands of websites offering advise on improving relationships and 1,2,3 steps to make your marriage come alive.

But since marriages are dynamic, there is no one formula that can spell out success for everyone. One thing for sure though, a marriage should be the ultimate expression of unconditional love for another person – that someone with whom you chose to be your partner in life. There will always be imperfections in that person, but loving that person unconditionally can make you understand and embrace his or her limitations. Finding ways to communicate this unconditional love to your partner everyday of your lives, even in the most trivial ways is one way of making your relationship a joy to keep.

Accentuate the good and downplay the bad in your relationship. Reach out to your partner and try to understand what can make him or her happy and content.

Finally, if you find yourself contemplating divorce, let your partner be the first to know and seek help together.

Find ways to avoid a break up or a divorce.