Can I Be Friends With My Ex?
One of the things that confront women who had just encountered break ups in their relationships is whether they can be friends with their ex boyfriend or ex spouse. The answer to that varies, depending on how the relationship was, before the break up. If the relationship was abusive (either verbally or physically), then it is not a good idea to strike up a friendship with the ex. It’s been proven that victims of abuse usually have low self esteem, and become clingy with their abuser through time. Wanting to be a friend of your ex who had abused you in one way or another is not only risky but it can also be a roadblock to your recovery, and will delay your journey towards recovering self esteem.
However, if the relationship was fulfilling, yet led to a break up due to one reason or another, it is only normal to have that desire to reconnect with your ex. It is sometimes difficult to suppress that desire to be a part of your ex’s life, even on the level of being friends only. Sometimes, it becomes a consolation to think that you had not totally lost a past lover, but gained a new friend.
You would have to search your heart, though before you consider beginning or maintaining a friendship with your ex. You have to be honest with yourself and analyze if you are really prepared to just be a friend and not have expectations like you used to have when you were together. Ideally, friendship can only be considered if you had already recovered from the break up and had moved on.
One way to find out if you can handle being friends with your ex is to meet your ex’s new love. If the meeting results to your feeling jealous of the other woman, then it is probably best to keep your distance, for your own good, as well as for your ex. This is a serious sign that you haven’t completely moved on and that you can still get affected by the sight of him with another woman. Do not pity or hate yourself for still going through these emotions. You will get over them, if you seriously want to, but you would have to give it time.
Being friends with your ex is not a totally insane idea. There are many couples who had remained friends even after their break up. You would just have to make sure that you are ready to be simply friends and that you have already gone beyond the stage of being desperate or pining for him still.
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