5 Signs You May Be Heading For a Divorce
When you signed that marriage contract, it was supposed to be binding for life. But marriage isn’t always about sunny days and blissful nights. There will be times when the relationship will be tested and depending on how strong its foundation is, it may or may not survive the rough and tough tumbles of everyday life.
What are the signs that your marriage is leading to or is already a disaster? These 5 signs may help you assess if your marriage is at risk:
1. You no longer look forward to times alone with your spouse like you used to. During the early stages of your relationship, everything seemed to revolve around your private moments with each other. If you now find spending time alone with your spouse a chore than a choice, you may need to assess the intimacy level of your relationship.
2. You and your spouse seem to be fighting over trivial matters. Oftentimes, it’s not the argument on who takes the trash out that is really the issue, but the feeling of being neglected or the feeling of not being loved enough. Usually, if these feelings are unresolved, you may find yourself picking up a fight over the smallest things.
3. You don’t confide to each other anymore. Communication is important in nurturing the closeness that you used to have with your spouse. If you’re the last person your spouse will confide to, then the level of trust must be dwindling in your relationship.
4. You and your spouse engages in constantly putting down each other in public. Too often, more deep seated problems, like lack of intimacy or feelings of inadequacy manifest in expressions of negative criticisms.
5. You or your spouse is having an affair. Affairs don’t happen overnight. They are symptoms of more serious problems in the marriage. There are other factors that precipitate the desire to have an affair, but usually it’s lack of meaningful interaction with each other that fuels it.
What can you do?
What is the secret of a long lasting marriage? So many self help books had been written about keeping the marriage alive, making it work, etc. There are thousands of websites offering advise on improving relationships and 1,2,3 steps to make your marriage come alive.
But since marriages are dynamic, there is no one formula that can spell out success for everyone. One thing for sure though, a marriage should be the ultimate expression of unconditional love for another person – that someone with whom you chose to be your partner in life. There will always be imperfections in that person, but loving that person unconditionally can make you understand and embrace his or her limitations. Finding ways to communicate this unconditional love to your partner everyday of your lives, even in the most trivial ways is one way of making your relationship a joy to keep.
Accentuate the good and downplay the bad in your relationship. Reach out to your partner and try to understand what can make him or her happy and content.
Finally, if you find yourself contemplating divorce, let your partner be the first to know and seek help together.
