Make Your Ex Come Back!

How do you deal with an ex who was once unfaithful to you but is now trying to win you back? Should you open your heart again and welcome him back?

Although statistical results vary, generally speaking, men get involved in extra marital affairs than women. One study said that about 60% of men and 40% of women would have at least one affair during their marriage or a committed relationship. Infidelity ranks as one of the top reasons why relationships fail. It is considered by many as the most painful experience a person can go through in a relationship.

If your partner has been unfaithful to you but is now remorseful and has asked for your forgiveness, what do you do next? Below are some questions to help you decide whether you will get back with your ex or not:

1. Are you prepared to forgive your partner for being unfaithful? This is probably the hardest question to answer, because the pain that comes with the discovery of the affair can cloud your thinking. It may make you think that the act is unforgivable. On the other hand, it may also make you think that it was your fault why the affair happened, and your partner deserves to be forgiven.

2. Are you willing to work towards making your relationship more successful? Maintaining a relationship requires hard work and dedication. When an affair happens, it is usually because there are other things wrong in the relationship already. Perhaps the level of intimacy with your partner has decreased through the years, perhaps your partner has felt let down or neglected in your relationship.

3. Are you ready to forget the past and work on a better future with your partner? Some would usually say that forgiving is easy, but forgetting is not. Ask yourself if you can find it in your heart to forget the past and look forward to a more loving relationship with your partner.

If you answered yes to all the questions above, then your heart and your mind are ready to welcome your ex back. It will take a lot of work – reviving passion and excitement, improving communication, expressing dedication to making the relationship work. Let your partner convince you that a reconciliation is worth it.

Although infidelity is prevalent, it does not necessarily have to result to a break up or a divorce. If the partners are willing to preserve and improve the relationship, then they may deserve a second chance.

Generally speaking, women all over the world work harder on their marriages than their husbands do. They would be the first one to notice that something’s wrong in the marriage, they would be the first one to seek counseling and not surprisingly, they would, more often than not, be the one to file for divorce.

Oftentimes, when asked what causes their dissatisfaction with their marriage, women are quick to say that “my husband just doesn’t understand my needs”. Even after many years of marriage, it is not strange to hear women say that their husbands are totally clueless with what can really make them happy.

Sometimes, men would feel that their wives have unrealistic demands and they just find it so exhausting to constantly be trying to please their wives. The role of husbands today has become more complicated than it was maybe 20 or 30 years ago – the husband doesn’t just have to be a good provider, he has to be there for soccer games, for parent conferences; he has to be the ultimate sexual partner for his wife and the ideal leader of the clan.

It is not surprising then that men end up disappointed with themselves also for failing to meet their wives’ expectations, which sometimes are just too much for them to handle. Many men, faced with criticisms from their wives, would react the opposite way. They would just stop trying to fulfill their wives’ demands and even accept it as a reality that women are born to complain, and it is just best to ignore them.

When this happens in a marriage, when the husband would often ignore what his wife is trying to tell him, the wife would start feeling that her husband is neglecting her. She would start to feel that her husband is not sensitive to her needs and the communication starts to break down.

Statistics show that there are fewer women who would leave their husbands because of sexual or physical abuse. On the contrary, many women in abusive relationships would not even think of leaving, because they feel even more threatened once they leave.  Most women would leave because they perceive that they are being neglected by their husbands – either their expectations are not met, or their husbands are never there for them.

So where is the common ground here? Is divorce the answer, when the relationship fails to deliver, so to speak?

There should be a point of compromise, where both husband and wife can set their expectations from each other straight and work towards fulfilling these together. It may take years before that level of satisfaction in a relationship is reached, but it is not totally impossible.

Frustrations and disappointments are normal everyday happenings in a marriage. With a strong love and appreciation for each other, a couple can find ways to communicate and resolve conflicts in a way that will not threaten the relationship.

Don’t wait for divorce to happen. Work with your wife to bring back the love in your marriage.

Running your husband away is nothing new for a lot of women. They run their husbands away all the time, usually because they’re trying to be too controlling or are tying to force the man into a position he doesn’t want to be in. Believe it or not most men would love to be married. The thought of having a mate at home who is faithful, loyal, and dedicated to them and only them is something that any man can respect. The problem comes when the man and the woman aren’t on the same page.

If you’re a woman constantly worried that your husband will one day leave, here are some no nonsense tips to make sure this doesn’t happen.

Stop doing things that irritate him

You probably do things that irritate the hell out of your husband and not even being aware that you’re doing it. It is not your fault though; you probably grew up around a bunch of women who encouraged you to act this way. Acting like a drill sergeant is not attractive; asking your husband to help you clean the house or take care of the kids minutes before the super bowl doesn’t help either; making your man ask permission to spend his money on a toy for himself while you spend freely is also very irritating.

Give him a little freedom

You have to give your husband a little freedom if you want him to stay in the relationship. You can get started by letting him hang out at sports bars with his buddies without accusing him of secretly seeing some other women behind your back. You can let him go to sporting events without you if you don’t enjoy sports. A lot of women try to make their man go everywhere with them even if they don’t enjoy it. If he just wants to get away for a while without you then you shouldn’t have a problem with it. As much as he may love you sometimes absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Don’t control him with sex

Some married women have this bad habit of trying to use sex to control their husbands. This is a bad thing to do in a relationship where sex is supposed to be mutually desired by both partners. If you want to divorce proof your marriage, don’t use sex as a tool to manipulate your husband. Don’t offer it as a reward for a good deed, only to withdraw if he doesn’t do what you want him to do. Your husband will just see through your tactics, and you’ll end up being enemies than lovers.

There really is no room for manipulation in a sincere, loving relationship. Learn to love your husband unconditionally and make him realize that he deserves this love. Divorce is out of the question if the relationship is happy, loving and fulfilling.