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Archive for September, 2009

Got Dumped – Should You Try to Get Your Ex Back?

September 15th, 2009 Brian Hendrick No comments

It’s never easy trying to survive a breakup. The pain of being separated from the person you love can be very overwhelming. This pain can make you either wallow in self pity or feel so much anger towards your ex or even towards yourself. These are normal emotions that one can experience after an unsuccessful love relationship. If you confront these emotions and learn to understand your pain, you will be on your road to healing. Do not let this pain and the negative emotions that go with it dictate how your days will go. Instead, recognize that the pain is there, but given time, it will not hurt as much as it did the first day your ex said it was over.

Your goal should be to regain your composure and your self esteem after the break up. Oftentimes, a break up creates feelings of rejection, which can affect the way you look at yourself. Especially if the relationship lasted for years, it becomes difficult to accept that the one with whom you invested so much emotions in has suddenly dumped you.

Keep telling yourself that being dumped is not the end of the world. Turn the table to your advantage by looking at this period as a time for self-reflection and for telling yourself that you are worth loving.

On your road to recovery, there may be times when you’ll find yourself asking, “Should I try and get my ex back?” You alone can answer that question. It will do you some good though to keep your distance from your ex right after the break up. Giving yourself time and space to understand the situation better will make you see things more logically.

Should you decide to give the relationship another try, it should come from a gut feeling that a reconciliation with your ex is what you deserve. Be prepared for the worst, though. You maybe wanting to get back with your ex, but your ex may not feel the same way.

When you’re ready to give it your best shot, find creative ways to win your ex back. Doing unexpected things like giving your ex a call after a long period of no contact can be effective, but do it in a way that it will not sound as if you’re too eager to get back together again. Drop some hints that you’re in the neighborhood on a particular day and you’ll be pleased to have coffee with him. If he expresses interest, then it may be a good sign that he welcomes the idea of reconciliation.

There are no fixed rules on how to get back your ex. Every relationship is unique and dynamic. What is important is to be true to yourself and to your loved one. If things are not happening as you want them to, then consider the possibility that the relationship is really doomed to end.

Getting Back With Your Ex – Questions to Help You Decide

September 15th, 2009 Brian Hendrick No comments

How do you deal with an ex who was once unfaithful to you but is now trying to win you back? Should you open your heart again and welcome him back?

Although statistical results vary, generally speaking, men get involved in extra marital affairs than women. One study said that about 60% of men and 40% of women would have at least one affair during their marriage or a committed relationship. Infidelity ranks as one of the top reasons why relationships fail. It is considered by many as the most painful experience a person can go through in a relationship.

If your partner has been unfaithful to you but is now remorseful and has asked for your forgiveness, what do you do next? Below are some questions to help you decide whether you will get back with your ex or not:

1. Are you prepared to forgive your partner for being unfaithful? This is probably the hardest question to answer, because the pain that comes with the discovery of the affair can cloud your thinking. It may make you think that the act is unforgivable. On the other hand, it may also make you think that it was your fault why the affair happened, and your partner deserves to be forgiven.

2. Are you willing to work towards making your relationship more successful? Maintaining a relationship requires hard work and dedication. When an affair happens, it is usually because there are other things wrong in the relationship already. Perhaps the level of intimacy with your partner has decreased through the years, perhaps your partner has felt let down or neglected in your relationship.

3. Are you ready to forget the past and work on a better future with your partner? Some would usually say that forgiving is easy, but forgetting is not. Ask yourself if you can find it in your heart to forget the past and look forward to a more loving relationship with your partner.

If you answered yes to all the questions above, then your heart and your mind are ready to welcome your ex back. It will take a lot of work – reviving passion and excitement, improving communication, expressing dedication to making the relationship work. Let your partner convince you that a reconciliation is worth it.

Although infidelity is prevalent, it does not necessarily have to result to a break up or a divorce. If the partners are willing to preserve and improve the relationship, then they may deserve a second chance.

Handling a Break Up – Should I Try and Get My Ex Back?

September 3rd, 2009 Brian Hendrick No comments

You find yourself staring on the phone, waiting for it to ring even at the oddest hours of the night. You pass by that favorite coffee shop where you used to meet him for breakfast and you feel a certain thug in your heart. You look around the train station, hoping to catch a familiar profile among the hundred commuters there. You are suffering from withdrawal symptoms, the kind that follow every episode of a broken heart!

Sooner or later, you would have to face the bitter truth that you had lost the one you love. With acceptance comes understanding, which leads to gaining the strength back to either move on or to continue fighting for the one you love.

How would you know if it is the right time to let go of this relationship or to keep on holding on to it and trying to get your ex back? In spite of the many advices that you would probably hear from your family or friends, you alone can determine if your relationship stands the chance of being revived.

Understand what caused the breakup in the first place. Consider if the cause of the breakup are just petty disagreements or major arguments that can undermine harmony in the relationship in the long run. Analyze also if the cause of these arguments are personality disorders, such as if one (or both of you) had been controlling or abusive. If these issues are not addressed properly during the early years of the relationship, chances are, they will remain issues even as the relationship progresses.

Once you’ve pinpointed the cause of your breakup, ask yourself if you are willing to work towards resolution of these issues either thru a compromise or by going through counseling with your partner. If your partner is uncooperative, that may be a clear sign that he is not as intent on keeping the relationship as you are.

Should you work on getting your ex back? Only if your heart tells you that it is worth the try. You should also see signs coming from him that he welcomes the idea of giving it another try. Otherwise, if you see that the effort of reviving the relationship is merely coming from you, getting your ex back may take more than love, but also patience to try everything possible to get him back.

A good time off from one another may allow you both to analyze the relationship with a more objective point of view. So, make the most of the time of the breakup and stay away from thoughts of self pity. Instead, analyze where you had gone wrong and on what areas you could improve yourself. Ask yourself if this is really the person you would like to end up with and if this person is really worth your love.

If you are convinced that it is worth the try, make yourself the woman he fell in love with before. Be his best friend, and make yourself indispensable in his life. Give him some space and when he realizes how much he misses you, he may find his own way back to your heart.

Don’t head back to your ex without a plan! Find creative ways to win your ex back by clicking here.

Get Your Ex Back – Make Him Want to Come Back to You

September 3rd, 2009 Brian Hendrick No comments

One of the most heartbreaking moments in an adult life is when you are dumped by the one you loved. You are then faced with that awful feeling of rejection, coupled with anger, fear and misery. Your whole idea of self esteem may come crumbling down before your eyes as you watch your loved one walk away from you. Your heart is not the only thing that’s broken – so are your dreams and hopes of a future with the one you love.

Sometimes the pain is so excruciating that people going through breakups will do anything to win back lost love. The thing is, when panic sets in, it usually clouds your reasoning and can make you do things you may regret later on. What’s important to do during heart breaking times like these is to stay calm, take some time off and do some soul searching. You maybe tempted to wallow in self pity and misery, but it will not do you any good to put your life on hold and focus on such negative emotions.

Your breakup is a good time to pamper yourself and focus on things that will improve your self esteem. It’s possible that you had let go of the person that your ex fell in love with in the first place. This is a good time to do some self analysis and find out what your shortcomings had been, that led your loved one put an end to your relationship.

After you’ve regained your composure and had given yourself some time to think, consider dropping your ex an email or a text message that says how grateful you had been for the times you were together. Do not make it too much of an emotional message, but only something that is sincere and direct to the point. You may drop a hint that you are ready to give it another try and work on issues that had caused the breakup. Remember not to put any blame on either you or your partner, but instead, leave the impression that you welcome the friendship even after the relationship has ended.

If your ex responds positively to your message, you may move on to the next level of initiating a meeting, preferably just for coffee. Make the meeting brief and simply offer friendship, nothing more. If your ex is keen on getting back with you, he will also offer hints that the relationship is worth another try.

Finally, after you’ve taken the first steps of contacting your ex, get into the “no contact period”, where you will neither call or email or text him. This period of silence should create curiosity in him and may make him start missing you. If he still feels deeply for you, he will initiate the next opportunity to contact you or better yet, to meet up with you.

Your next steps to get your ex back requires a creative strategy where in the end, your ex will desire on his own to get back with you.

Don’t wallow in self pity nor be paralyzed by anger or depression.  Find more creative ways to get your ex back by clicking here.