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4 Mistakes You Can Make to Drive Your Girlfriend Away

July 22nd, 2009 Brian Hendrick 1 comment

You’re reading this article for 2 reasons – either you’re finding ways to keep your present girlfriend, or you want your girlfriend to be the one to call it quits. If it’s the second reason you have in mind, you don’t have to read the rest of this article – just try your best to be obnoxious to your girl and her family and her friends, and for sure, she’ll find an easy way to dump you! But if your goal really is to make your relationship work and avoid the mistakes that will make her walk out on you, then read on:

Mistake No. 1 – Don’t ever try and make your girl jealous. Jealousy should never be used to measure how much she loves you. If you intentionally flirt with other girls just to see her furious, then don’t be surprised when she does get hysterical and starts throwing things at you. Think how you would feel if she retaliates and does the same thing. Making her jealous is not only an immature thing to do; it also creates distrust and can ruin the relationship.

Mistake No. 2 – Never use any form of abuse (verbal, mental or physical) on her. If you are in an abusive relationship, where you are the abuser, seek professional help. You will never find harmony in this kind of relationship, and sooner or later your girlfriend will realize that it’s not healthy for her to stay on.

Mistake No. 3 – Don’t keep bringing up your ex. A casual mention of your ex from time to time maybe alright, but if you keep reminiscing about your ex, you’ll just end up hurting your present girlfriend and don’t be surprised if she calls it quits. Obviously, you’re just on the rebound and still pining for your ex, if you keep bringing her up. Analyze your feelings, and if you do feel strongly for your present girlfriend, break the habit of thinking and talking about your ex.

Mistake No. 4 – Do not be too possessive or obsessive about your relationship. Like most men, women also do not want to be in a controlling relationship. If there is not much room to breathe and to grow in your relationship, chances are your girlfriend will not be happy and will get tired of you easily.

Women are not that complicated, if you understand that it’s unconditional love that they usually look for. Most women would stay in a relationship that nurtures their spirit and allows them to develop as an individual.

Love your woman, don’t try and live her life for her. But instead, find ways to love, understand and support her.

If you’ve done any of the mistakes above, find ways to win her back at Get Your Ex Back.

How Long Does it Take to Get Over a Breakup?

July 21st, 2009 Brian Hendrick No comments

When a breakup happens, you will always have to go through a healing period to help you get over the pain, no matter how long or how short a relationship has been. You have to focus on what you’re going to do next after the relationship has ended.

Some people are happy to have their relationships end because they can be free now to pursue other people. Other people are sad because they were making long term plans with the person they were with and got a monkey wrench thrown into it. There are several factors involved that’ll help you determine how long it might take to move on after a breakup though.

The most important thing you have to consider is the length of the relationship. If you had a relationship that lasted for years then it may take you years possibly to get over it. Some people will move on sooner, but if the feelings were genuine then you can’t get rid of those feelings overnight. If the relationship ended really badly you may not be able to move on until you get some kind of closure from the other person. If your relationship was just one long drawn out date then you’ll be able to move on much faster because your emotions were not as invested.

Sometimes getting over a breakup requires you to slowly accept the reality that it’s over. This reality may come to you slowly at first, but once you accept it you can begin the moving on process. Take it slow; do not be in a hurry to get over your ex. You did enjoy a lot of good times with the person and those good memories are something most people will cherish. Of course some may argue that the best way to get over these memories is to create new memories with other people. But you don’t want to use someone else as a crutch to getting over someone else. This would be unfair to the new person you get involved with.

The best way to know how long it is going to take you to get over a breakup is for you to go back on the dating scene and see if anyone else captures your eye. If you can see yourself being with someone else, then this is a good sign that you’re ready to move on.

The final step will be you officially getting involved with another man and putting the past behind you. But make sure you’ve completely moved on from your other relationship otherwise you won’t be giving the other person your full attention and this can sabotage your future relationship.

How long can it take you to get over your relationship? It can take a few days, it can take a few months or it can take a few years. If your feelings were strong for the other person then a long grace period is going to be needed in order for you to move past those feelings. It’s possible though that you may never move past the feelings you used to , but what you can do is give the next person that comes into your life all of you and not just the part that’s left after a bad break up.

Recovering from a bad breakup is never easy.  Another option is to try and work on getting your ex back if  you believe your relationship stands another chance.

A Guide to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

July 21st, 2009 Brian Hendrick No comments

If you’re reading this article because you seriously want your ex boyfriend back, it will help you a lot if you ask yourself why do you want him back in the first place. Is it because you sincerely miss him or is it because you’re just jealous after seeing that your ex has easily moved on and started a new relationship? Do you want your ex back to prove to yourself that you are better than your ex’s new love? Or is it because you suddenly realized that what you had with your ex was something extraordinary and you want to experience the whole thing all over again? Whatever your motivation is to get your ex back, you may be clueless as to how to even start this process and do it in a way that you won’t seem too desperate.

The first step you want to take if you want to get your ex back is to give him a little breathing room to make a decision. If you try to force him to decide too fast you might get a yes answer only out of sympathy. He may later on turn around and dump you all over again.

Be patient; let him decide if he is willing to give it another go. If he decides to give it a second chance then you’ll know that it is his decision and not a choice you forced on him. This will give your relationship a good chance of working out the second time around, if both of you willingly welcome the idea of getting back together.

Second, try to nurture the friendship first and then just go with the flow. If the desire to get back together is mutual, you’ll find that you won’t be exerting too much effort on your part, as you’ll see him finding ways to make the relationship work as well.

Sometimes being just friends for a little while is a great way to appreciate each other without there being any high expectations placed on each other. You’ll be able to have fun in a way where the little stuff that might’ve come between you two, when you were officially together, won’t matter. Go out to a movie together and just hang out. Share a dinner where you’re both able to catch up on what’s going on in each other’s life. You’ll see that simple acts of friendship will bring you closer together in a way where neither one of your feelings are on the line.

Relationships breakup usually because one of the partners does not show the other person the appreciation he or she deserves. When you are just going out as friends, it’s easier to see what your partner is really worth and vice versa, as there’s not a lot of expectations on the relationship. Since the expectations are low, whatever you or your partner decides to do for the other, comes out as something special. Make sure you put extra effort to show your ex the appreciation he deserves and apologize for those times that you missed seeing his worth. Doing so may lead your ex boyfriend to think of the times he wasn’t appreciative of your efforts in the past as well.

Getting your ex back is not rocket science, but no matter what you do, you cannot make someone feel a certain way about you, if they don’t already. If the love has died between you and your boyfriend, then its best you move on to someone who probably has more to offer you in terms of love, respect and appreciation.

There will always be lingering feelings after a breakup, especially if the relationship lasted for a long time. When it’s all said and done it will have to be a mutual decision whether or not the relationship is given a second chance at life.

Find other tested ways to Get Your Ex Back at http://www.makeyourexcomeback.com

5 Ways to Make Your Long Distance Relationship Work

July 21st, 2009 Brian Hendrick 1 comment

If you’re involved with someone who lives in the same state or country as you do, you’re considered one of the lucky ones! A study shows that there can easily be about 6 million couples in the US alone who are in long distance relationships (LDR) and the number increases every year due to online dating. Can long distance relationships work?

The challenges that couples face in this kind of relationship differ, depending on what level the relationship is on. If the relationship is new, and has not been given enough time to develop, the challenge to keep it alive is greater than if there has been more time shared before one partner relocates.

If you’re already in a long distance relationship or contemplating on getting into one, here are a couple of things you can do to make the relationship vibrant in spite of the miles in between:

1.  Think positive. People looking from the outside will often see that your relationship is doomed, because of the distance between you and your partner. Do not listen to people who would readily put down your relationship, but instead, if you want to make it work, fill your days with positive thoughts and shun out the negative criticisms that you may hear.
2.  Forecast an end goal to the separation. You and your partner should agree on the time frame as to when this arrangement will last. Make the deadline realistic – one, that will also allow for both of you to reach your other goals which probably started the separation in the first place. The deadline should be mutually agreed, because if it’s just one partner setting the date, the other partner may feel pressured and may even find the relationship an impediment to personal growth.

3.  Communicate. With internet, reaching out to your partner, even at the remotest part of the earth is no longer impossible. Emails and phone calls are great ways to establish intimacy, and can bridge that distance. Also, take the time to write long loving letters to each other to spice up the romance.  Share even the most mundane events of the day to make your partner feel that closeness and that he or she is a part of your every day life.

4.  Meet up. This is an important step to keep the relationship alive and if you consider your relationship a priority, you would find ways to meet up, even though it may get expensive sometimes. It adds up to the excitement whenever you and your partner has a date to look forward to, like a shared weekend or even a once a month date.

5.  Build Trust. It’s normal to feel fear and anxiety that your partner may become unfaithful because of the mere fact that you are not together most of the time. However, studies show that it’s not the distance between the couple, but the overall quality of the relationship which will determine if infidelity will happen. Strengthen the relationship and you’ll find that it will be very difficult for you or your partner to stray away.

A long distance relationship probably takes more work than a regular “geographically close” one. But LDR is a fact of today’s world and something that can still work as long as both partners are committed to keep the relationship alive and exciting.

If your long distance relationship is at risk, find ways to revive the relationship at www.makeyourexcomeback.com

Can I Be Friends With My Ex?

July 21st, 2009 Brian Hendrick No comments

One of the things that confront women who had just encountered break ups in their relationships is whether they can be friends with their ex boyfriend or ex spouse. The answer to that varies, depending on how the relationship was, before the break up. If the relationship was abusive (either verbally or physically), then it is not a good idea to strike up a friendship with the ex. It’s been proven that victims of abuse usually have low self esteem, and become clingy with their abuser through time. Wanting to be a friend of your ex who had abused you in one way or another is not only risky but it can also be a roadblock to your recovery, and will delay your journey towards recovering self esteem.

However, if the relationship was fulfilling, yet led to a break up due to one reason or another, it is only normal to have that desire to reconnect with your ex. It is sometimes difficult to suppress that desire to be a part of your ex’s life, even on the level of being friends only. Sometimes, it becomes a consolation to think that you had not totally lost a past lover, but gained a new friend.

You would have to search your heart, though before you consider beginning or maintaining a friendship with your ex. You have to be honest with yourself and analyze if you are really prepared to just be a friend and not have expectations like you used to have when you were together. Ideally, friendship can only be considered if you had already recovered from the break up and had moved on.

One way to find out if you can handle being friends with your ex is to meet your ex’s new love. If the meeting results to your feeling jealous of the other woman, then it is probably best to keep your distance, for your own good, as well as for your ex. This is a serious sign that you haven’t completely moved on and that you can still get affected by the sight of him with another woman. Do not pity or hate yourself for still going through these emotions. You will get over them, if you seriously want to, but you would have to give it time.

Being friends with your ex is not a totally insane idea. There are many couples who had remained friends even after their break up. You would just have to make sure that you are ready to be simply friends and that you have already gone beyond the stage of being desperate or pining for him still.

If you’re not ready to be friends with your ex, and may be wanting to get him back, visit http//www.makeyourexcomeback.com

Breaking Up the Easy Way

July 21st, 2009 Brian Hendrick No comments

Breaking up is already awkward enough as it is, you often don’t want to do it in a way that’ll cause a big scene or that’ll turn into a verbal exchange of all the things the other person didn’t like about you. Men for the most part, just don’t want their ego bruised during a breakup; women often don’t want to be told their guy has found someone better.

Whatever is the cause of the break up, one thing for sure – someone ends up angry, bitter, and lonely.  If  you’re the one who’s asking for the break up, what can you do to make it an easier process, in a way that’s not so brutal or offending to your partner?

Take a step back and follow some basic guidelines if you want to make this process smooth and avoid getting into bitter fights and complications in the future.

How not to do it

You should  treat people the same way you want to be treated -  this means you don’t break up with them through a text message or over an e-mail. Consider the other person’s feelings and don’t throw them away like they never meant anything to you. Let them know that you still care and you enjoyed the time you spent together. If you regard the other person’s feelings, you should be alright. It’s when you don’t consider peoples’  feelings when things become ugly.

Don’t be nasty

This is just another way for me to repeat what I just told you, don’t be nasty to the person you’re breaking up with. Some people get into name calling, or trying to put down the other person because their feelings were hurt. All this does is make things worse and you end up destroying whatever respect you had for the other person. Be respectful even if the other person becomes defensive or nasty towards you.

Avoid conflicts after the breakup

Following the advice I just gave you above will help you avoid conflicts in the future. If you breakup with someone in a really nasty way you never know when you’ll have to deal with that person again. Being respectful will make it easier for you to remain on good speaking terms with your ex afterwards in a way that won’t be so awkward.

Break ups are so extremely uncomfortable and awkward, no one likes to do them. When you do, you want to go through the process in a way that won’t cause further conflicts in the future. Keep the respect in the picture and consider the other person’s feelings to make the situation easier to handle.

Are you ready for a break up? if not, find ways to save your relationship at www.makeyourexcomeback.com

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How to Get Back Together After a Breakup

July 19th, 2009 Brian Hendrick No comments

Getting back together with your ex can be easy if your breakup was over something trivial like leaving the toilet seat up or someone eating the last piece of banana cream pie. But sometimes it won’t be as easy if the breakup happened for a major reason like cheating or abuse.

Depending on the reason for the breakup it is entirely possible you’ll be able to get back together. It’s important that you understand the reasons for your breakup though so you can work that out. If you don’t work out the problems that caused your breakup,  those same problems will resurface.

If your breakup was about something that has to do with your ego then all you may have to do is sit down and talk it out for a while. This may sound easy, but it’s actually pretty hard to do for a lot of people because neither person wants to believe they were wrong.

Someone has to swallow his or her pride and say sorry, and if you’re the one who wants to get back together then it’s better to just bite the bullet and apologize than be pig headed and refuse to budge. Talk out your problems like adults and don’t let it turn into a screaming match where you both are exchanging insults.

Another good way to get back together is to just start off casually dating. What does casual dating mean? Well to be cute about it, all it means is that you both will see each other and hold each other to no expectations whatsoever. You’ll both be free to see whoever you want to see and you both will be free to do whatever you want.

This can be fun if both people are clear on how it works; it’s a great way to see if you still have feelings for each other. If either of you find yourself getting jealous of someone else that the other person might be seeing, then this is a sign there are still strong feelings involved.

Remembering what it was that attracted you to each other in the first place will also help you get back together, if the possibility of getting back together is there. You need to spend a little time with each other without any strings attached. No living together, no serious dating and no expectations. All you want to have is fun with each other so you can rediscover what you liked about each other. This will make you have more of an appreciation towards each other if you were to get back together.

Getting back together after a serious breakup can be hard, but it doesn’t have to be impossible. Casually date at first so that you take away the expectations. Talk to each other a little bit to see if you can solve whatever problems you had that caused your relationship to end and see if you can rediscover what you liked about each other. If there is still a spark then you both will know.

Get Your Ex Back with time tested techniques!

My husband’s leaving me for a younger woman – What should I do?

July 16th, 2009 Brian Hendrick 3 comments

How many times have you heard the story of a man leaving his wife for a younger woman? It could have happened to a friend, a family member, or even worse, to you! This phenomenon has been going on for centuries and is still a constant fear that besets even the most accomplished, most confident women of today.

Is this really inevitable? In some cultures, like in the Muslim community for example, it is not a surprise to find men living with 3 or 4 wives. In fact in some societies, having multiple wives is a norm rather than an exception, maybe because it is one way of assuring that their species will be propagated, if men are given not just a “blessing” but more like a “right” to have many wives.

If you find yourself in this situation, meaning you are a woman whose husband has been enchanted by a woman half his age, what should you do? After you’ve recovered from the initial shock of finding out about the affair, what’s the next step that you should take?
Below are some suggestions that may help you:

1.  Do not stop yourself from feeling sad. One of the best ways to deal with loss (in a way what you are experiencing is a loss of trust and love) is to grieve about it. By all means, cry and feel the pain as it is one way to extricate yourself from its hold.

2.  Give yourself some pep talk. When you’re done with the grieving stage, tell yourself that you are still worth loving and that this event in your life does not define you for the rest of your life. If your marriage has failed or is going to fail, it doesn’t mean that all your future endeavors in life are also bound to fail.

3.  Search your heart. Try to honestly answer the question – is this marriage worth saving? If you sincerely believe it is and you know in your heart that there is still a good chance of saving it, then plan your mode of action! Work towards establishing a more open communication with your husband, seek the help of a marriage counselor if necessary and find ways to rekindle his love and affection for you.

4.  Proceed with caution. Although you desire to reclaim his love that got sidetracked, if you overdo your efforts, you may come out too desperate to win back his love. He may consider this excessive show of love as something suffocating, exactly what he may want to get away from.

5.  Give him space if he needs it. Oftentimes an affair is just a way to express his desire to exert his independence. The risk of course there is that he may no longer come back to you. However, there is also the possibility that he’ll realize how important you are in his life when you’re no longer that available to him.

6.  Forgive him. Give him another chance if he decides that the affair was just temporary and that he would want to give the marriage another try. Make sure though that he is also willing to work hard to revive the love and passion in your relationship.

7.   Communicate. Discuss the situation openly, admit both your shortcomings and reestablish intimacy in your relationship. An affair is a signal that something is missing in your relationship. Contrary to what most women think that men only become unfaithful because the sex isn’t as good as it was before, studies show that more married men enter affairs to fill up an emotional void. An honest discussion of what caused him to get into the affair in the first place will help you understand his needs better.

If you know in your heart that you’ve done the best you can to win your husband back, and yet he chooses not to come back to you, learn to accept the fact that the relationship is over. It will take a lot of time and soul searching, but acceptance is the first step towards healing.

Above all, love yourself and believe in your own capacity to love and be loved again.

Find more at Get Your Spouse Back

What is the Fastest Way to Handle a Breakup?

July 16th, 2009 Brian Hendrick No comments

Handling a breakup shouldn’t be done too fast, even though there’s a good reason why you would want to get over it quickly. You may want to get over a breakup quickly because you find it just a little bit too painful and awkward to keep dwelling over it, or maybe you want to get rid of what you’re feeling so that your ex doesn’t have any hold over you anymore, when and if they should decide to make another play at you.

Your ability to get over a breakup fast is going to depend on how much time and emotion you invested in the relationship, but you’ll have to avoid doing some of the things that people do when they breakup in order to move past it fast.

For starters you’ll need to accept one harsh fact – it’s over. Once you accept this as a fact you’ll be able to move past any old lingering feelings you might still be harboring for your ex. Most people when they breakup they don’t believe it’s really over, they’ll play cute games with each other leading up to them getting back together. Don’t be the kind of person who plays these types of games. If you and your partner decide to end the relationship, accept it as a fact and move on.

You don’t want to make the mistake of doing what most people who are trying to heal a broken heart may end up doing – lie around the house, feeling sorry for themselves and letting themselves go. You will not get anywhere if you just lay around your house and beat yourself up because your relationship ended. Get up and do something, go out there and live. If you let yourself go then no one will want you and your worst fear will be realized. Think about it, if you don’t take care of yourself, you’ll decrease your value in the dating game.

Getting out there and talking to other people will help you get over a breakup fast. When you get out there and meet other people a magical thing happens – you realize that there are other people who are willing to date you. This may come as a shock, but the person who broke up with you isn’t the only person in the world. You can go out there and meet people who will serve as human band aids for your emotional wounds. This will help you get over relationships faster than anything, because if you are busy trying to woo someone else how can you be concerned about a past relationship?

The fastest way to handle a breakup is to just move on from it and accept that it’s over. The sooner you can accept this then the better off you’ll be. Take my word for it – if you want to get out there and meet other people who will find value in you where the other person didn’t see it, you’ll make yourself feel much better knowing that this breakup isn’t the end of the world and that there is life after a breakup.

Find out more at Make Your Ex Come Back

5 Signs You May Be Heading For a Divorce

July 16th, 2009 Brian Hendrick No comments

When you signed that marriage contract, it was supposed to be binding for life. But marriage isn’t always about sunny days and blissful nights. There will be times when the relationship will be tested and depending on how strong its foundation is, it may or may not survive the rough and tough tumbles of everyday life.

What are the signs that your marriage is leading to or is already a disaster? These 5 signs may help you assess if your marriage is at risk:

1. You no longer look forward to times alone with your spouse like you used to. During the early stages of your relationship, everything seemed to revolve around your private moments with each other. If you now find spending time alone with your spouse a chore than a choice, you may need to assess the intimacy level of your relationship.

2. You and your spouse seem to be fighting over trivial matters. Oftentimes, it’s not the argument on who takes the trash out that is really the issue, but the feeling of being neglected or the feeling of not being loved enough. Usually, if these feelings are unresolved, you may find yourself picking up a fight over the smallest things.

3. You don’t confide to each other anymore. Communication is important in nurturing the closeness that you used to have with your spouse. If you’re the last person your spouse will confide to, then the level of trust must be dwindling in your relationship.

4. You and your spouse engages in constantly putting down each other in public. Too often, more deep seated problems, like lack of intimacy or feelings of inadequacy manifest in expressions of negative criticisms.

5. You or your spouse is having an affair. Affairs don’t happen overnight. They are symptoms of more serious problems in the marriage. There are other factors that precipitate the desire to have an affair, but usually it’s lack of meaningful interaction with each other that fuels it.

What can you do?

What is the secret of a long lasting marriage? So many self help books had been written about keeping the marriage alive, making it work, etc. There are thousands of websites offering advise on improving relationships and 1,2,3 steps to make your marriage come alive.

But since marriages are dynamic, there is no one formula that can spell out success for everyone. One thing for sure though, a marriage should be the ultimate expression of unconditional love for another person – that someone with whom you chose to be your partner in life. There will always be imperfections in that person, but loving that person unconditionally can make you understand and embrace his or her limitations. Finding ways to communicate this unconditional love to your partner everyday of your lives, even in the most trivial ways is one way of making your relationship a joy to keep.

Accentuate the good and downplay the bad in your relationship. Reach out to your partner and try to understand what can make him or her happy and content.

Finally, if you find yourself contemplating divorce, let your partner be the first to know and seek help together.

Find ways to avoid a break up or a divorce.