Being able to listen is one of the greatest skills a person can have in maintaining a good relationship. When you listen to someone and they really feel like you have understood them then you are going to have a much easier time getting them to listen to what you have to say when things are turned around.
Focused listening is a skill that can be practiced and improved upon by following a few easy tips.
When you need to discuss something with someone you should try and find a time and place where any distractions are going to be minimized and you will have as much of the persons attention as possible. This goes for when someone is talking to you also. You can suggest that they talk to you about it at a better time or place. This will help them to see that you are truly interested in what they say and value them enough to take the time to find the right place and time to listen.
Always let the other person finish what they are saying. Some people take a little bit of time to get their point across and even if you think you already know what they are going to say and have the answer or a perfect comeback all lined up its still very important to let them finish. The conversation will go much more smoothly if they really feel that they were able to get what they wanted to say across. This will also help when it is your turn to speak as they will be more likely to give you the same consideration.
One good way of showing that you are listening and understand what the other person is saying is to give feedback or even repeat their point back to them. This will put the person at ease and also minimize them feeling they have to repeat themselves which could greatly cut down on the amount of time spent discussing something. Letting someone know that you understand is one of the best things you can do when listening.
If you practice these tips and develop a good listening skill set you will find that many of the things you may of argued about or disagreed about in the past will quickly be resolved. Being able to listen effectively is a great way to show someone respect and to also gain respect from them for yourself.
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Get back together with your ex
A lot of issues in marriages come from lack of communication. In fact most of them do. A lot of these types of problems are caused by one of the people in the relationship thinking that the other person knows what he or she wants, needs or is thinking. So many times a couple will get into an argument because one person expected something from the other person and also expected that other person to know that it was expected.
Sandy and Steve had been married for 7 years and Valentines day was coming up. Steve was a good husband and never forgot about things like that so he made reservations for them to go out to eat that night. He was excited all day about it and couldn’t wait. When Sandy got home from work she had a box of chocolates, some flowers a card and a balloon to give to Steve. Steve was standing there with nothing to give to his wife that he loved. He didn’t think much of it since they had discussed their plans earlier and he had assumed that taking he out to dinner was going to be fine. However Sandy didn’t think that way, she got upset and started crying and saying how he didn’t love her because he didn’t buy her anything. She had seen her co-workers all day receiving flowers and chocolates and then when her man didn’t get her anything she snapped. Had Steve known he was supposed to get her flowers and chocolates or that she was going to be getting him stuff he of course would of made the ten minute trip to the store but because of a lack of communication he thought that he was already doing what was expected of him. An argument ensued and they ended up getting divorced. He told her she was insane to cause such a big damn deal over something so dumb and she told him that he didn’t love her or care about her because he hadn’t bought her anything.
This whole thing could of easily been avoided had Sally just told Steve what she expected of him. Instead her secret expectations caused all kinds of problems when they weren’t fulfilled.
Never assume that the other person knows what you are thinking or needing from them and at the very least don’t get all upset and blame them when they don’t do something that you thought they should do but never bothered to tell them about.
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Get back with your ex
Many marriages end due to the couple drifting apart over the years. They often find that after years of marriage they no longer have much in common. Its as if they are married but living separate lives at the same time.
When new couples get married they are often deeply in love and very excited about the future but as time wears on and the days turn into years the excitement of life and living together can become boring and mundane. This is why many couples in their forties and fifties will divorce after 20+ years of marriage, they stay together while the kids are growing up but after that they no longer have much in common or a reason to stay married. Its at this time that they will start once again looking for that excitement in life that they once knew and if they find it somewhere else besides the marriage then you can usually count on it being over.
The best way to prevent this from happening or to reverse it if it has already begun is to start doing things together. Find a hobby that you both enjoy, take a class together, entertain your common friends together or anything else you can do to be a part of each others lives.
One of the best ways to do this is to travel together. The kids are grown up and moved out and usually at this time in life there is a little more disposable income then earlier in life so its a lot easier to do things like traveling and taking extended vacations.
Having common goals and interests is a great way to keep a relationship fresh after many years together. It might not be easy at first to break out of the routine of doing things separately or to convince the other person to go along with something new and give it a try but I’m positive that you will find the benefits to this new way of living greatly outweigh the small inconvenience of trying something new. So go for it, live a little. Who knows you might just find out your partner really is your best friend after all!
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Get Back With Your Ex
Disagreements in a relationship are common. Often times arguments will come down to a “he said – she said” type situation where one person will be saying one thing while the other will be determined to say another.
Have you ever been in a situation where you were positive that someone said something but no matter how much you tried to convince them, they just kept denying it. Or even the other way around where someone was trying to tell you that you had said or done something that you were positive you hadn’t?
This happens a lot in relationships and can cause what could be a very simple disagreement to get out of hand and turn into world war 3. The two will end up fighting for hours or even days over some minor detail that in the big scope of things doesn’t matter anyway.
The best way to get past this is to just agree to disagree. In fact it really the only way. You are never going to be able to convince the other person that you are right, even if you do convince them there is still a very small chance that they will ever admit it. Choosing to agree to disagree though can help move you forward and get you past a small sticking point in an argument. This will enable to and your partner to focus on the “real” problem and help you to find a resolution much easier. Remember when you are in an argument with someone its not the small details that are important, whats important is getting to the root of the problem as fast as possible so that you can resolve your issue and get back to loving eachother because really, isn’t that what being in a relationship should be all about anyway?
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Make Your Ex Come Back
